Keep Them Entertained, But Not Too Busy

The weekend looms ahead.  It's a busy one, following many busy ones.  This one will be filled with a yard sale, my grandparents in town, Chris's sister and her family in town, birthday parties (for me!), BBQs, maybe swimming, friends coming to our home.

I feel like I always walk this line with my children between not enough activity and too much activity.  Do you relate?

When we go too long without anything planned and all we do is stay home, E in particular becomes very bored.  He is very energetic and he has a hard time sticking with one activity for very long.  He asks all day every day, "Can we go to Grandma and Grandpa's?"  "Can we go to Nana and Papa's?"  "Where are we going today?"  "What can we do today?"  "Can we go to the beach?"  "Should we play a game?"  "Can we do something fun?"

And yet, when busyness sets in and we run around and have a lot of plans, I see negative things happen to my kids, too.  J-Man in particular, an introvert, needs time at home, quietly reading and hanging out with Mommy.  When we've been running all over the place for a couple days, my kids become exceptionally clingy and prone to tantrums.

It's so hard to find that balance of keeping them busy but not too busy.

So as the busy weekend looms ahead, I am grateful that E will be entertained, I'm excited for some fun times, yet I worry about the pending tantrums and poor sleep that will probably come.

How do you keep that balance for your family?

Frugal Living: Budget Basics

After my last post in this Frugal Living series, Cash Family, a reader asked about how to make a budget.  This really is such an important step in managing your finances, especially when you are trying to be frugal!  I am by no means an expert on budgeting, but Chris has a B.S. in Business, which required him to study budgeting, so he has made our budget and he keeps it updated.  Lucky me!  


I've learned the basics so here goes.


Budget Basics:

We made our budget using Excel and it is quite helpful to use a program like that if you are familiar with one.  If not, you can just do all the math yourself!

First, write down your bring-home pay for each month.  (Tip: When we got married, we knew we wanted me to be able to stay home once we had little ones, so we never factored my paychecks into our monthly budget.  We made sure we could live on Chris's salary and counted my income as extra - savings, etc. - so that it would not require a huge adjustment for us financially when I became a stay-at-home mom.)

Second, calculate your tithe.  (This step applies to Christian readers.)  The Bible talks about tithing and while there is some debate regarding the amount we should tithe, many go with 10% as that is what the word "tithe" means, and we stick with that.  We take 10% of our income before taxes and give it to our church and organizations like World Vision and the International Justice Mission.  Write down the amount of your monthly tithe.

Third, write down your monthly recurring bills as those are pretty much set each month.  This will be things like:
Mortgage/Rent
Utilities (electric, gas, water)
Insurance (home, car, etc.)
Medical Insurance
Phone (cell, landline)
Internet
Debt (student loans, credit card)

Once you subtract your tithe and recurring bills from your bring-home pay, you will know how much money you have for everything else each month.

At this point, you can divide up that remaining money into the rest of your budget categories.  You can sort of guess how much you might use in each category if you don't know.  The rest of your categories might include:
Food
Gas/Car Maintenance
Clothing
Kids (diapers, formula, etc.)
Hair/Makeup
Entertainment
Date Money
Fun Money
Savings
Miscellaneous (this can be used for random extras that come up like birthday gifts, etc.)

For a couple of months after we made our budget, we kept track of everything we spent.  That way, you can readjust your budget and move money around as needed until you find what works for you.

I hope this is helpful to somebody!  Do you have any budget tips to share?

Frugal Living: Cash Family

Money.  Here's the thing, if you looked at our checking account, savings, retirement (what retirement?), you would probably not think we are good with money.  BUT, we have never fought about money.  In our 5-year marriage, I cannot recall a single time we have fought about money.  The only debt we have is our mortgage and student loans.  Yes, we'd love to have no debt, but we feel good that we don't have any of what financial people refer to as "bad debt" such as credit card debt.

And we are really good at being "poor".  There's an episode of Raising Hope (love that show!) where the family is teaching another family how to be poor.  They have all their little tricks like eating produce while shopping so they don't have to pay for it and entertaining themselves by playing balloon volleyball in their living room on a Friday night.  It's quite funny, but Chris and I relate because we have figured this living-on-a-small-income thing out pretty well.  We have all our little tricks and tips.

So while I don't claim at all to be some sort of money expert, I am good at living on little and keeping my marriage money-sane.  Therefore, I share a few ideas with you in hopes something might help you.

Frugal Living: Cash Family

Today, I want to talk about cash.  We are a cash family.  I cannot even tell you how helpful this is in sticking with a budget.  At the beginning of each month, we head to the bank and remove all of our cash for the month.  (There have been times we've taken half the cash at the beginning of the month and half midway through the month and if that's what you have to do until you have things better situated, do it!)  That cash goes into envelopes.  Each envelope is labeled with a budget category such as Clothing or Food or Entertainment.

So when we sat down with our budget, we figured out what categories we'd need to leave in the bank.  These are things like bills that automatically come out of your account each month or that you're going to pay through your account.  So we leave our Utilities money, our Mortgage money, etc. in the bank.

Everything else is CASH.  This makes you stick to your budget!  Once the Food envelope is empty, that's it.  So you keep track and when there are 2 weeks left of the month and only a little cash left in that envelope, you start scrimping and using everything in your pantry that you can!

They say there's something psychological about it, too.  It's easier for us to swipe a plastic card over and over and not really realize that money is leaving every time we do that.  When we actually hand over the cash at Target, we are made more aware of what we're doing.

I'd really urge you to try this system if you are not already doing it.  Of course, the first step would be making a budget, if you don't already have one.  Then, become a cash family!

Are you a cash family?  How does it work for you?  Do you recommend it?


See Frugal Living: Fun Money

Fun Money

Fun Money is one of the best financial rules we have instituted in our marriage.  Every month, part of our budget includes "Fun Money" for me and Chris.  For us, it's $20 each, but you can decide on an amount that works for you and your budget.  So at the beginning of each month we each take $20 and that is money that we can each blow however we want!

No, $20 is not a lot of money!  Chris usually uses his on fitness equipment and mine usually goes toward clothes or Starbucks runs.  If we want something more expensive, we'll save our Fun Money for a few months.

For us, Fun Money accomplishes a couple of things.  One, it gives us a little freedom in our super-tight budget.  For example, our budget includes $20/month for clothing expenses, but that does not go very far in a family of 4.  I really enjoy buying new clothes, but the Clothing Budget is for NEEDS not wants.  When I just want to buy another shirt because I want to buy another shirt, I use my Fun Money.  There's a little wiggle worm for both of us to get and do things we just want to get and do.  This keeps us sane, really.  It helps us stick to our budget because we don't a.) deprive ourselves for months on end of ever being able to buy something fun, and b.) blow too much because we don't have a set limit.

The other thing Fun Money accomplishes is a little independence.  I don't have to run things by Chris when I want to spend my Fun Money.  We don't have to agree on the uses of our Fun Money or even tell each other how we used it.  I hear of so many couples fighting because they don't agree with the ways their partner spends money.  But with Fun Money, IT DOESN'T MATTER!  There's a little cash each month that you don't have to agree with your partner on.  You just do whatever you want with it.

Fun Money is such a simple idea, but I really do think it contributes to our ability to stick to our budget because we aren't completely deprived of the freedom to just blow some money sometimes.  I also think it helps us not fight about money because each month we can do a little spending that doesn't have to be approved by our partner.

What financial "rule" helps you and your family?

a birthday, a lemon tree, and a good swim

My little boy turns 3 tomorrow.  We partied hardy over here on Saturday.  We partied with hot dogs, fresh strawberries from the farm, and cake frosted specially by Daddy.

We partied in the style of Thomas when he plays "Splish, Splash, Splosh!"  We ran across a slip & slide because most were too young to actually slide.  We splashed in a kiddy pool and pushed each other on a tire swing.  It was quite fun!

Some of us may have struggled with a little jealousy at the day's beginning.  When is it my turn to be in the spotlight?

But by the time the party hit, it was just a good old time of yummy food, delighted kids, and a mess that said, "Fun was had!"

Then Mothers Day hit and my precious boys planted me gerbera daisies (my favorite) and a lemon tree!  They brought me breakfast in bed (eggs, hash browns, strawberry shortcake!, and coffee) and gave me a handmade card that said on the front "Mommy u r beautiful".  Chris said he asked the boys what they should write and that's what they said.  Their Daddy has trained them well!

We finished the day with swimming and a BBQ at my parents' house and the boys were very excited for their first swim of the year in a non-kiddy pool!  J-Man rocked some kind of style, let me tell you!

E with his Grandma

Favorite Toddler Photos

A disclaimer on this post would be that my photography skills are indeed not all that great.  That said, I LOVE to photograph my kids!  Taking pictures of toddlers can be tricky as they are always on the move and most don't enjoy posing for Mom!  But they are wonderful subjects because they are so full of expression and energy!  Here are some of my favorite toddler shots:


Their Smiles

Their Style

Face Close-Up

With Mom & Dad

 In Nature

Doing Their Favorite Things

 Modeling

Their Curiosity

Holidays

 Bath Time

Their Feet

Rare Moments of Focus

Siblings

Finalized!

An adoption finalized!

On Wednesday we finalized our adoption of the J-Man!  We had 9 family members join us at the courthouse, which meant so dang much to us!  It is such relief and joy that floods us this week.

The builder

I'm really enjoying watching E build with blocks lately.  He's found a new passion for it and is getting more creative instead of just building the same tower over and over again!

E's favorite photo

The boys love to look through pictures on Mommy's computer (isn't it funny how technology changes things!).  This one is E's must-see.  It captures two of his favorite things: forklifts and his Papa.

Have a great weekend!  I'm looking forward to a break from my kids (yes, I said it!) and some celebrating!  More on that next week.